What is Self-Management
Self-management does not mean that you can never become angry. There may be circumstances in which anger is a perfectly reasonable emotional response, but the key is to have control over it so that it can be channelled into resolving the problem at hand. This Assessing Self-Management Checklist provides you with a quick and easy way to assess the self-management aspect of emotional intelligence.
Some people have a strong tendency to overstate in their own minds the negative aspects of a particular situation – for example, fear of a meeting with an important client. If you recognize this trait you should apply the reflective cycle to such situations to ensure that you see them more realistically.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence and Self-Control
You can also use a simple three-step process to help improve your self-control. This enables you to think logically about scenarios and determine potential ways to deal with them. This goes a long way to diminishing your fear or anger and raises your level of EQ self-management.
#1 – Identify What You Are Feeling
This might simply be a strong feeling over a missed deliverable, unease about a meeting, or longer-term sentiments that there is something wrong with the environment you are working in. Whatever the starting point you will need to exercise self-awareness before you can start to do something about it.
#2 – Determine the Underlying Cause
This is a difficult step because the process requires analysis, reflection, and honesty to identify the cause. Is the sales person who has missed her target angry or resentful towards her boss because he told her she had missed her target, the marketing department because they gave her too few sales leads, or herself for missing opportunities?
#3 – Take Action
Once you’ve identified the true cause of your emotion you can do something that breaks you out of the cycle of negative emotion. It could simply be to recognize that the emotions that you are feeling are inappropriate or unjustified, or that they are directed at the wrong target.